Have you taken a step back, think a while, and asked yourself. Where is home? Or where is home now?
I've been in Melbourne for the past 1 year now. 1 year, 1 month to be more accurate. I've lived in Malaysia a good 21 years. At the same time, Petaling Jaya feels like home, Melbourne is feeling like home.
I have this feeling of eventuality. It's somewhat in the mind of my family members, and also its kinda stuck on to me. My parents want to retire here, going back and forth to Malaysia and Melbourne. My sister is here for good. My brother and sister in law wants to raise their family in Melbourne, and eventually will be here.
John Wee? I love it here in Melbourne. Seriously I love it. I love the weather, I love the easy-going lifestyle. I love my friends. And one of the biggest pull, is I love Planetshakers. I think if it weren't for Planetshakers, I'll be more 50-50. But since Planetshakers, I seriously feel the calling to stay in Melbourne.
I'm already having dreams where I wake-up in Melbourne walking through its great gardens with flowers in my hands and a soft hand in the other, the smell of cheese, bread and other unknown untasted food in the deli as you walk through Victoria Market, the fresh cool air and wind as I walk by the Yarra River, the lights of the city at night, the jumps and cries and moments of just pure joy, peace and laughter as the shakers band cry out to God with passion, the crowd of people going to the footy screaming for their team although their just losing every match, the many sights, sounds of people of all colour and races.
Have to say. I used to miss Malaysia, or felt that I miss it a lot when I was with Nicole. But now, it seems all I mostly miss is just sitting on those shitty plastic chairs around a round crappy plastic table at Williams with Pei Biao and Eugene having a blardy huge teh-ais in hand, a very warm & oily anti-pesto that makes my heart miss a beat of every bite I take and watching Liverpool thrashing Manchester United at 2am in the morning. The heart missing a beat is not only because of Liverpool, but its but its more to do with the cholesterol in the anti-pesto having a go at my tender heart. Ha Ha. Those were good simple times.
Those times were wonderful. Malaysia is a awesome, wonderful, beautiful place. But so is Melbourne. Their different in so many beautiful aspects.
Where is Home? Where is Home? Where is Home?
Both are. Why should there be only one home?
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Sunday, August 19, 2007
Uncertainties of life
This is kinda a silly question, but at the same time I wonder if it actually represents me accurately. I just hate uncertainties of life. Risk is the probability of the variable outcomes. But to some extent, at least it is plausible outcomes. Have to say, my uncertainties although I dislike them, have came out mostly all good in overall circumstances only by the grace of God.
But at the same time, it's been tiring and not really a easy smooth ride. Can I say life is good? Yeah it is. Life is and has been good to me. But uncomfortable at times. Probably you can say it's been a bed of roses with thorns inclusive. But life is not meant to be comfortable, but to continually push for the breakthrough as we step into higher realms and bigger plains.
Hee Hee. I'm really spouting nonsensical abstract crap aren't I? Maybe I'm just in the abstract mode who just loves to type without meaning, especially now that I'm at lunch break at work and eating cereal for breakfast and cereal for lunch as we ran out of bread to make a sandwhich. I gave the last bread to my sister. Just appealed to me, I should prayed have broken it in two and seeing it multiply in front of my eyes. Doh!
But yeah, to recap my life in the near future the plans that seem to be laid out for me.
1)Continue Post-Grad, and pursue my Permanent residency
2)Stay back in Malaysia and work outside
3)Stay back in Malaysia and work with my brother and dad
Options 1 and 3 are ideal. And I pray that the breakthrough would come as soon as possible by the Grace of God. I think option 1 would be the best gift for me. Though I'm getting a bit tired of studying. Heehee, but I love Melbourne, I love Planetshakers, I love all my friends here to bits.
Hence, sometimes I wish there was more certainty in my life. But in all the uncertainty that I had previously that I can say since coming to Melbourne, it's all been uphill. And I believe it would continue to be uphill from here on. Why wouldn't it? God's on my side. Hehehe.
But at the same time, it's been tiring and not really a easy smooth ride. Can I say life is good? Yeah it is. Life is and has been good to me. But uncomfortable at times. Probably you can say it's been a bed of roses with thorns inclusive. But life is not meant to be comfortable, but to continually push for the breakthrough as we step into higher realms and bigger plains.
Hee Hee. I'm really spouting nonsensical abstract crap aren't I? Maybe I'm just in the abstract mode who just loves to type without meaning, especially now that I'm at lunch break at work and eating cereal for breakfast and cereal for lunch as we ran out of bread to make a sandwhich. I gave the last bread to my sister. Just appealed to me, I should prayed have broken it in two and seeing it multiply in front of my eyes. Doh!
But yeah, to recap my life in the near future the plans that seem to be laid out for me.
1)Continue Post-Grad, and pursue my Permanent residency
2)Stay back in Malaysia and work outside
3)Stay back in Malaysia and work with my brother and dad
Options 1 and 3 are ideal. And I pray that the breakthrough would come as soon as possible by the Grace of God. I think option 1 would be the best gift for me. Though I'm getting a bit tired of studying. Heehee, but I love Melbourne, I love Planetshakers, I love all my friends here to bits.
Hence, sometimes I wish there was more certainty in my life. But in all the uncertainty that I had previously that I can say since coming to Melbourne, it's all been uphill. And I believe it would continue to be uphill from here on. Why wouldn't it? God's on my side. Hehehe.
Learning to love?
My sister asks me to read this book. I personally find it interesting, and I'll be reading it soon as long as my sister gets it from her boyfriend Dave. But this is mostly the summary of it.
http://www.fivelovelanguages.com/learn.html
----
That the 5 love languages are,
1) Words of affirmation
2) Quality Time
3) Receiving Gifts
4) Acts of Service
5) Physical Touch
-----
http://www.fivelovelanguages.com/learn.html
----
That the 5 love languages are,
1) Words of affirmation
2) Quality Time
3) Receiving Gifts
4) Acts of Service
5) Physical Touch
-----
Friday, August 10, 2007
What transformer am I?
Find out which Transformer you are at LiquidGeneration!
Haha This website is hilarious! For the super bored.
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Doors, Doors, Doors.
Some call it barriers, I call it doors. Just an inquisitive thought, how many doors are there to your heart? Doors deeper ina a place of access, more private information, intimacy, love less restrained.
Revelations 3:20 - Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.
Come to think about it, I don't have too many doors, well I have a few, but not too many compared to most. Some doors are very well guarded, but overall to enter further into the deeper inner most areas of my heart, there aren't too many doors.
I guess sometimes I don't have a healthy appreciation for people with more doors or even less doors. And to the extent, whats inside those doors, how much its being given. Some people have a lot of doors, in that they are cautious, they give little by little, slowly opening up the doors to people at their own pace or at their own comfort level. Some people have very few doors, that once you open up one of their door, it just opens up to a free range.
I think I've never been a careful giver. Always abit too crazy and generous. But at the same time, I've always been careful who I give them to. I suppose I have less doors, open it up and there is a huge access to a lot. But I've been taking risks recently, opening up my doors and expected the risk to pay off. Did it? I don't know.
Though unfortunately getting people to open up their doors is never the answer. And banging on their door asking to OPEN UP, is most likely going to be faced with more barricades and defences. Even if there's a 'pretty please with sugar on top' added to the phrase. :P
Anyway, just thinking about doors, I started thinking about the pre-requisites, the requirements and the reasons why I let some have the keys or rather I open the door to them. Mostly it's to do with trust, that you give the key to the door. Some do it for money, some do it blindly, some give it because their lonely and need someone to step in.
It makes me wonder why I opened up my door to this wonderful person, when I've been holding it out for so long. I think it's to do with trust, and a degree of risk. A belief that there is something meaningful.
---------------
My doors? Starting from inside.
The innermost place, as if in the temple, is the Holiest of Holiest. The place of all submission, and all intimacy. Where my body, my heart, my knowledge, my secrets, my understanding is all yours. It is meant for two people. One is my God, and another should be my wife. The place I give my all within my possible means.
Go a bit out past the first door from the most inside, would be a place where I withhold no secrets, there is love unrestrained, there is deep intimacy, a place of unreasonable trust. And There is courtship, a place of preparation. I reserve this place for my girlfriend and maybe future children.
The second door, would probably be for like people like my family and really best friends or mentors in my life that I know they can be trusted and love me and want totally the best for me that their willing to do what they think is best for me went I turn.
The third door, would lead to the inner court, where good friends and wonderful friends surround me.
Then to fourth or outer court, friends, and further out acquaintances.
Hmmm Hmmm... Sounds abit mad? But think about it.
---------------
Just thinking, although some aren't quite applicable, but somewhat is as well,
I like this phrase Pastor Bill Johnson puts it, That "If you are cautious, all your friends will call you wise, but you'll never move any mountain."
Revelations 3:20 - Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.
Come to think about it, I don't have too many doors, well I have a few, but not too many compared to most. Some doors are very well guarded, but overall to enter further into the deeper inner most areas of my heart, there aren't too many doors.
I guess sometimes I don't have a healthy appreciation for people with more doors or even less doors. And to the extent, whats inside those doors, how much its being given. Some people have a lot of doors, in that they are cautious, they give little by little, slowly opening up the doors to people at their own pace or at their own comfort level. Some people have very few doors, that once you open up one of their door, it just opens up to a free range.
I think I've never been a careful giver. Always abit too crazy and generous. But at the same time, I've always been careful who I give them to. I suppose I have less doors, open it up and there is a huge access to a lot. But I've been taking risks recently, opening up my doors and expected the risk to pay off. Did it? I don't know.
Though unfortunately getting people to open up their doors is never the answer. And banging on their door asking to OPEN UP, is most likely going to be faced with more barricades and defences. Even if there's a 'pretty please with sugar on top' added to the phrase. :P
Anyway, just thinking about doors, I started thinking about the pre-requisites, the requirements and the reasons why I let some have the keys or rather I open the door to them. Mostly it's to do with trust, that you give the key to the door. Some do it for money, some do it blindly, some give it because their lonely and need someone to step in.
It makes me wonder why I opened up my door to this wonderful person, when I've been holding it out for so long. I think it's to do with trust, and a degree of risk. A belief that there is something meaningful.
---------------
My doors? Starting from inside.
The innermost place, as if in the temple, is the Holiest of Holiest. The place of all submission, and all intimacy. Where my body, my heart, my knowledge, my secrets, my understanding is all yours. It is meant for two people. One is my God, and another should be my wife. The place I give my all within my possible means.
Go a bit out past the first door from the most inside, would be a place where I withhold no secrets, there is love unrestrained, there is deep intimacy, a place of unreasonable trust. And There is courtship, a place of preparation. I reserve this place for my girlfriend and maybe future children.
The second door, would probably be for like people like my family and really best friends or mentors in my life that I know they can be trusted and love me and want totally the best for me that their willing to do what they think is best for me went I turn.
The third door, would lead to the inner court, where good friends and wonderful friends surround me.
Then to fourth or outer court, friends, and further out acquaintances.
Hmmm Hmmm... Sounds abit mad? But think about it.
---------------
Just thinking, although some aren't quite applicable, but somewhat is as well,
I like this phrase Pastor Bill Johnson puts it, That "If you are cautious, all your friends will call you wise, but you'll never move any mountain."
Monday, July 30, 2007
The child and his toy.
I am like a child. I think sometimes the things I do is still like a child.
Okay, maybe "toy" is not a good word. But rather object of most desire. I guess for a child it would be his "toy" or his mommy.
The child have this new toy, she is beautiful, she is wonderful, she is lovely. The child just wants to play with it, just wants to continue holding it, just wants to enjoy the toy.
Take the toy away from the child. Let him play with it 1-2 hours a day. How would the child act? The child would go crazy with the toy. He would love every moment, every second of the toy. Getting to know it intimately with every second he has but when its not there, he whines, he throw fits, he throws tantrums, he acts like a child desiring the toy.
Give a man his toy. He likes his object of desire, be it BMW, Mercedes, etc. He enjoys every moment of it, he tells his friends about it, he shares, he cares for it. Take it away for 1-2 hours a day. He cherishes and enjoy every moment of it while its there. But the times when he can't be with her, he revels in the fact that it's going to be there again tomorrow morning all shiney and polished ready.
I've been trying too hard to accelerate natural order of things. Trying to know her too much. But like a child, who gets excited about all things of the toy, he eventually gets bored of it, and moves on to the next thing. Until someone else picks up the toy and the child gains interest in it again. The man, his object of desire, he knows it, it becomes his passion. He takes it slow and does not grow bored of it, but takes even greater care of it until it becomes a classic. Becomes better with age.
I think I have been a child last night. Not a man. Don't Be a child John. :o(
Okay, maybe "toy" is not a good word. But rather object of most desire. I guess for a child it would be his "toy" or his mommy.
The child have this new toy, she is beautiful, she is wonderful, she is lovely. The child just wants to play with it, just wants to continue holding it, just wants to enjoy the toy.
Take the toy away from the child. Let him play with it 1-2 hours a day. How would the child act? The child would go crazy with the toy. He would love every moment, every second of the toy. Getting to know it intimately with every second he has but when its not there, he whines, he throw fits, he throws tantrums, he acts like a child desiring the toy.
Give a man his toy. He likes his object of desire, be it BMW, Mercedes, etc. He enjoys every moment of it, he tells his friends about it, he shares, he cares for it. Take it away for 1-2 hours a day. He cherishes and enjoy every moment of it while its there. But the times when he can't be with her, he revels in the fact that it's going to be there again tomorrow morning all shiney and polished ready.
I've been trying too hard to accelerate natural order of things. Trying to know her too much. But like a child, who gets excited about all things of the toy, he eventually gets bored of it, and moves on to the next thing. Until someone else picks up the toy and the child gains interest in it again. The man, his object of desire, he knows it, it becomes his passion. He takes it slow and does not grow bored of it, but takes even greater care of it until it becomes a classic. Becomes better with age.
I think I have been a child last night. Not a man. Don't Be a child John. :o(
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Life's funny without money.
30 dollars in my bank. La La La Fu Fu Fa Fa Ha ha ha
*looks in wallet*
Oh. 25 dollars in wallet. *smile*. Ho Ho Ho. Safe!
Well don't worry about me. Going to get paid on Thursday. Then have to pay off $200.00 fine and Visa. ooooo-boy. :P
*looks in wallet*
Oh. 25 dollars in wallet. *smile*. Ho Ho Ho. Safe!
Well don't worry about me. Going to get paid on Thursday. Then have to pay off $200.00 fine and Visa. ooooo-boy. :P
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