Men and Women of Praise

Yesterday, service was absolutely awesome. The praise and Worship was really great. But one thing that really got a tingle down my spine, was during worship. Not because of the worship in front was going on excellently well, but I was also surrounded by the hearts of men and women of great praise.

One really comes to mind is Felicia. When she sings, wahlau, it's as if there's a warmth in your spirit, a tingle down your spine. This Small cute girl who talks sounding abit like a croak. But when she sings, especially sing unto the Lord, there's like a spirit in her voice. A heart of passion, and a spirit of longiness for His Presence. She's one of the few like Pastor Sam Evans, where when they sing, you can tell its as if God's hearing. Like God stops everything in place, and just leans aside to hear he beloved daughter sing. Everytime she sings, you can just close your eyes, and imagine her, sitting alone by her bed-side with her guitar just hymning to God her heart, about how much He loves her, and how much she just loves him. I imagine the Bride of Christ, and Christ, just sitting together.

Men and women of praise carry a very special anointing. Very very special anointing. King David was definitely one. Champions of God are men of worship. Where the storms may arise and darkness covers the earth, they stand up against the greatest adversary and praise God for the confrontations before them. That they are given the opportunity to be more than conquerers, to step before the giant and say "You who defile the Armies of the one and true living God, No More! Not on my watch! I'll take your head Giant!".

I don't study the book of Psalms. I know Felicia loves it, it's like her favorite book, same goes to some others like Bea, and Ai Ling. Maybe I should go through it someday. hehe. Don't know. :P

Actually I'm greatly blessed to have great men and women of worship surrounding me. As My boss Daniel Koh is also a champion of worship!

Hero of the day

Haven't been writing much. But I guess today is something worth writing about.

I've been sick since thursday. Wednesday was Marcus's birthday. We pelted him with water balloons and after that had a very nice lasagna and spaghetti made by Darren, and a super nice chocolate cheesecake by Sarah. Yum.

But on thursday morning, woke up with this super crappy sore-throat, that turned into a raging fever on thursday. Thankfully, I only worked a couple of hours on Thursday as it was training against for Fry's. I took 2 days off from Melbourne Uni. Although Melbourne Uni pays so much better. All for the saturday work. :P But I reckon it'll pay off itself eventually.

Was pretty sick on Thursday, so I sat in for 3.5 hours, and then took a day off on Friday because didn't feel like going, although on Friday my fever was mostly gone, but still had a awful sore-throat and was yaking out phlegm all day.

Haha, the crazy part was I went for Friday's overnight prayer. We prayed from 10pm to 6am. I stayed the entire time. Praying that I don't get sick! But it was awesome. Although I was seeking for a manifested presence of God, but God's presence was still there. Didn't really cried.. or wait... maybe I did. But yeah, we worshiped, we prayed in tongues continually, and just had a great time fellowshipping and praying amongst brothers and sisters of Christ.

The heroes were definitely the people who came to pray. I'm so blown-away by the turnout. Although there was close to 300 people that the room was just bursting at its seams during the first watch, which was 10pm to midnight. But people started leaving soon after. Finally by around 6am, there was still about 150+ people. Which is still very amazing, it's still very encouraging to see so many people turnout for prayer and lasting about 8 hours of prayer!

Haha, We had 3 breaks in between, a break every 2 hours for 20 minutes. So technically prayer and worship was about 7 hours, with 1 hour break. But it's good and necessary. Some of the funniest scenes were girls falling asleep while praying. They get into this praying poster, squatting or kneeling on the ground, with their head down... and zzzzz. Lol.

Yeah, so finally it finished at 6am sharp. Went home, took a shower, I was sweating so much, that my jeans was soaking. I drank up to 3 bottles of water. The room was not well ventilated, we had fans on all the doors, it wasn't super stuffy, but it did get warm at times.

Slept for about 1.5 hours, and now here I am at work in Fry's self storage. It's 10:25am. Praying for time to pass by quickly, so I can go home and continue by good well-earned rest! Oh, I lost my voice! Haha.

The encourager?

This is a funny perspective. I don't know how much truth is there in it, but was just thinking about it in the shower, and was pondering on it, and asking God about it.

But it's also concerning having a girl.

One of the biggest flaws about Nicole, was that she could not be an encourager of my life.

It's a strange notion. I used to think I liked girls who are inquisitive, intelligent and good conversationalist. Although that is absolutely true about Nicole, she even thinks logically, but the greatest flaw about thinking logically is the inability to act which is commonly found in girls. Hehehe.

But aside from that, One great thing I've found out is,

I am a great encourager. It is a gift from God for me to lift people up, and be a great source of encouragement. A lot of people has pointed that out in me. I do believe I have the gift, as described in Romans 12:8 - "If it is encouraging, let him encourage".

But the thing I realised about myself as well, is, that I am able to encourage others, but I too need a lot of encouragement. Finding a girl who is able to lift you up when you are down, to build you up with words of wisdom and words from God is a great gift.

She can make you rise up amongst the ashes of disappointments, be the moonlight that shines a path amidst the pitch black darkness of hopelessness and she'll never ever allows you to wallow in self-pity but stirs you up in you a fiery vengeance to seek God for restoration and gets for you your sling for you to slay the giant who dare taunts the army of the one and only living God.

So far I thank God that I have a lot of great women of encouragement in my life. Namely, my mother and my sister. I wouldn't mind having my own personal encouragement.

Although, one thing I need to keep in mind, is that the greatest Encourager is the Holy Spirit, He is the great comforter that truly is the refreshment to my soul.

That being said, putting all your emotions and sorrow into one, can seriously weigh him or her down, and even the greatest of encourager's can feel down and emotionally driven, hence casting your cares unto Jesus for He cares for you, can never weigh him down.

But nevertheless, getting a woman that encourages you.. is powerful.

The inheritance?

Just a thought when I got home.

I was remembering one of my friend saying that he needs to pay back his parents for his education. To me, was "Really?, Ouch!" Considering that he studied in Australia, that would be a very heavy payload needing to pay back his parents.

I wonder if he was lying or really telling the truth. Now, that friend isn't the most honest, and have been known to tell tall tale stories just to feel comforted and or attention seeking. As he told me that after a moment thought after I was telling him how I was working for my living expense. Plus he hasn't been one who cared about his studies, always playing away and never ever studying, hence he's been failing and repeating exams left right centre. It might just be his mom threatening to study.

Theoretically, if I had to pay my parents back for education fee's, I'll do it in Malaysia. At least I have a better hope, or if not, I'll study 2 years in Australia, attempt to do my craziest and get my PR, and then have a better chance.

Education is a crazy investment to spend on going overseas. Unless you have a goal in life, that you cannot fail. But looking at my friend, either thats the truth or he's been cracking under the pressure, which I doubt it's the case as well.

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But aside from that, just thinking about the idea, it's quite sad. Needing to pay your parents back for your education. Maybe it's because I've been raised in a great loving family who only wants the best for me. Maybe it's because I'm Christian? I don't know. But to have parents who give to their children sacrificially, I know that I am not just a expensive investment. But I am truly a extremely loved child for them to go all-out.

My parents tried to give me the best, that I know. Although financial concerns got in the way. But nevertheless, for my dad willing to spend his retirement fund on me without too much thinking, it was a great gesture of love.

In a way, I have to say, I haven't been producing the results in proportionate. I think since coming to Australia, I've grown and learned to appreciate their gift. Especially now that I'm working part-time just to survive. I realized that I cannot afford to fail, and it's the best they can give, it's on my part now. It's weird, because I used to think I know this, but I never really knew, just looking back.

I wish sometimes I can relive year 1 uni again. I would have done things a lot differently. I had a lot of wrong concepts on life, and bitterness towards a lot of things. And I would have changed my study ethics a lot differently. Personally looking back, I feel really immature. Thats the strangest part.

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Maybe I might want to paraphrase myself. In no way I am looking at this from a condemning point of view, but rather from a thoughtful perspective of how I could do better.

Ok, coming back to children's education. I personally don't see your child as an investment. But a continuation of my legacy. I personally believe that my parents with whatever they had, they brought me up with a lot of love and a lot of care. Although now with exposure, I wish they had done better, but it is for me to carry on what I've learned, and expand on it.

It is the inheritance of knowledge. That my dad from Kelantan, looking at his awful childhood, he grew up knewing what he knew. One thing I wish he did was paid more attention to my education though, especially since he was a brilliant student, and I'm not. As teaching your kids to learn is something I would definitely teach my kids.

Although much can be said about the above,

One thing I loved about my parents as there wasn't much illogical pressure. In that they are not reliving their dreams and hopes through us but letting us learn our own paths. Perhaps there could have been some better level of guidance, but I think thats another separate thing to think about.

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I like the idea of inheritance. We are all spiritual inheritance to those who believe in Christ Jesus. But not to go there too much, inheritance, to receive something that you have not paid for.

I like what Pastor Bill Johnson says "Maturity is expensive, inheritance is free". Where your parents toil just to give us the best, we are to bring it to the next level, from the lessons learned, passed down, to bring the family, to bring the legacy into the next level.

Proverbs 13:22 - A good man leaveth an inheritance to his children's children: and the wealth of the sinner is laid up for the just.

There are many stories of generational blessings if we are bothered to study them. Some really amazing stories, like even the Bush family is one of them. From having presidents, to senators, and people of all great walks of life. And the Waltons, Hiltons, and other great families.

Inheritance. Leaving a legacy. To see your actions affecting generations down is quite a scary thought, but at the same time, also a glorious thought.

Maturity

This topic keeps on popping up into my head from time to time. Maybe it's about time I write it down and give it a rest. Hehe. But then again, it is also a fascinating topic of discussion at times.

What is maturity? The dictionary puts it as
# The state or quality of being fully grown or developed.
# The state or quality of being mature.

I guess, the thing that I want to talk about is mostly the mental aspect of it, a matured person, one who is stable in all manners and walk of life. And then it kinda hits me, that I don't think there is such a thing as real maturity. Hehe.

There are full grown men, who act mature, but once they touch their 40's, they suddenly get a mid-life crisis realizing that they are not who they are, and then they go hay-wire. Maturity should be a conviction on the inside, not only simply just acting the way the world tells you to act.

I'm having some kind of issue with maturity. Partly its also because of my co-current study on the issues of the heart that I'm going through with God, to rout out and seek the issues I have in my life. And I sometimes feel like I'm getting accused, that the things that I'm doing is not mature, or nonsense, Imo it's the accuser. :P

I believe real maturity is to look at Christ. The problem is that we assume maturity in the worlds sense, and not God's sense. Jesus although he was fully mentally and spiritually stable, at the same time, he gets moved with compassion, he was a absolutely fun and amazing guy to hang out with. I don't think Jesus was a straight serious 24/7 type of man. He was serious when he needed to be, and joked and enjoy all other times. I mean, who could resist someone turning water into wine? And some of the things he said putting into the right light is hilarious, which I think he meant it that way.

Even Jesus asks us to be like Kids at times. People can argue about what Jesus meant by that, but I think as adults we need to re-learn how to have fun again. Jesus was a man full of joy. I find myself at times deathly sorrowful and melancholic, which to me, i'm finding it quite disconcerting. But yet, this is the way the world portrays as being matured.

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Sometimes I wonder whether maturity is tied to wisdom. Like I said again Maturity should also be not only on the outside but also on the inside. To be able to deal with problems and issues in life.

Hmmm. Hit a note there which I probably need to think of more now. I wonder whether you can be matured and not wise. :P I don't think so. I think they are together, I think wisdom brings maturity. Maturity means the fullness of a person.

Woo... :D

Miss being a full-time student

You know what, woke up today with a somewhat dreading feeling.

I kinda miss being a full-time student. Yeah. I mean, its great to have a job, at times it is somewhat fulfilling that I am independent, nearly absolutely independent from my parents bar my exam fee's. I can survive on my own, although it is tiring at times, especially the mondays where I used to work 9-5, then class from 5:30-8:30, and even the urban life core meetings till 11pm. They used to be a bit mad.

But come towards the end of the semester right now, I feel as if, I'm dreading it a little. The feeling of needing a holiday or a break after a while. Theoretically, I've been working nearly non-stop since January I reckon. I could use a holiday off work. Right now i'm thinking whether I should take next week off to study for my exams. Hmm.

THe unfortunate part is that my workplace is so so severely short-staffed. I feel it is somewhat irresponsible, or rather a bit selfish of me to do so. I mean, I can do it if I want to because I am a casual, but at the same time, the money is good as well. I might take the wednesday off to study for my exam paper on thursday. Yeah I reckon I should just take a day off.

Aside from that, my current emotions towards work is a bit slumpish. Mainly due to the understaff and workload. Like last week on monday was a big hitter. I was meant to do my assignment presentation but at the same time there was this really huge assignment submission that came in. Something like 200+ legal ethics papers which I had to process single-handedly. Was quite awful sometimes to do everything alone by yourself. It really saps and ruins your day.

It's the little things that eats into you throughout the week. But I thank God for the recharge on Sundays :D

The blame Game.

Something more or less happened at work today. Something to do with a student assignment paper that went missing. And the lecturer's been scrambling to find it, we've been scrambling to find it, some swear words were thrown in, some people got scolded as on our tick-sheet we marked that we actually received the paper. But considering it's a huge class of 400+ students, errors do happen.

Then eventually we had to do the last thing, which was to accept defeat, and call the student inquiring whether they have submitted their essay. Which turned out they did not hand it in. It was mistakenly ticked.

Okay, mistakes do happen, I agree. But the part that got me somewhat frustrated, was not the problem itself, but rather the attitude of individuals involved when we were scrambling for solutions.

I'm talking about the blame game.

And even in the end of it, one of them was happily singing to herself "It's not my fault, it's not my fault". Sure it's probably not your fault, but nevertheless, despite circumstances, I feel, that working in a office, being a part of a organization, mistakes are unavoidable, but it is how we work as a team to rectify mistakes in a timely and efficient manner.

Playing the blame game does not help. I personally think its a piss poor attitude to simply point the finger and do nothing to help. It lacks team spirit, it is not a first class mentality, it creates an environment of distrust, disunity, hatred and does not rectify the situation. And the awful thing, is that it not only happeneds on the ground level with people of low education, but all the way to the top.

I remember my dad used to say, in work politics its the same. It's a matter of learning how to dodge bullets and build yourself up by arse-kissing the boss. I think these kind of individuals are only building their career on shakey ground. As eventually they will fall, and its going to reveal all the mess that they have all buried inside. Kinda like the story of the tell-tale-heart. The grave would spring open.

I remember someone famous, a boss said about his worker, that the worker made a $50,000 mistake. But the important question was whether the worker learned a $50,000 lesson. Which the worker actually did actually learn from his mistake, and was a extremely valuable asset to the company from then on, making many times back from the mistake that he did.