This topic keeps on popping up into my head from time to time. Maybe it's about time I write it down and give it a rest. Hehe. But then again, it is also a fascinating topic of discussion at times.
What is maturity? The dictionary puts it as
# The state or quality of being fully grown or developed.
# The state or quality of being mature.
I guess, the thing that I want to talk about is mostly the mental aspect of it, a matured person, one who is stable in all manners and walk of life. And then it kinda hits me, that I don't think there is such a thing as real maturity. Hehe.
There are full grown men, who act mature, but once they touch their 40's, they suddenly get a mid-life crisis realizing that they are not who they are, and then they go hay-wire. Maturity should be a conviction on the inside, not only simply just acting the way the world tells you to act.
I'm having some kind of issue with maturity. Partly its also because of my co-current study on the issues of the heart that I'm going through with God, to rout out and seek the issues I have in my life. And I sometimes feel like I'm getting accused, that the things that I'm doing is not mature, or nonsense, Imo it's the accuser. :P
I believe real maturity is to look at Christ. The problem is that we assume maturity in the worlds sense, and not God's sense. Jesus although he was fully mentally and spiritually stable, at the same time, he gets moved with compassion, he was a absolutely fun and amazing guy to hang out with. I don't think Jesus was a straight serious 24/7 type of man. He was serious when he needed to be, and joked and enjoy all other times. I mean, who could resist someone turning water into wine? And some of the things he said putting into the right light is hilarious, which I think he meant it that way.
Even Jesus asks us to be like Kids at times. People can argue about what Jesus meant by that, but I think as adults we need to re-learn how to have fun again. Jesus was a man full of joy. I find myself at times deathly sorrowful and melancholic, which to me, i'm finding it quite disconcerting. But yet, this is the way the world portrays as being matured.
----
Sometimes I wonder whether maturity is tied to wisdom. Like I said again Maturity should also be not only on the outside but also on the inside. To be able to deal with problems and issues in life.
Hmmm. Hit a note there which I probably need to think of more now. I wonder whether you can be matured and not wise. :P I don't think so. I think they are together, I think wisdom brings maturity. Maturity means the fullness of a person.
Woo... :D
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Monday, October 22, 2007
Miss being a full-time student
You know what, woke up today with a somewhat dreading feeling.
I kinda miss being a full-time student. Yeah. I mean, its great to have a job, at times it is somewhat fulfilling that I am independent, nearly absolutely independent from my parents bar my exam fee's. I can survive on my own, although it is tiring at times, especially the mondays where I used to work 9-5, then class from 5:30-8:30, and even the urban life core meetings till 11pm. They used to be a bit mad.
But come towards the end of the semester right now, I feel as if, I'm dreading it a little. The feeling of needing a holiday or a break after a while. Theoretically, I've been working nearly non-stop since January I reckon. I could use a holiday off work. Right now i'm thinking whether I should take next week off to study for my exams. Hmm.
THe unfortunate part is that my workplace is so so severely short-staffed. I feel it is somewhat irresponsible, or rather a bit selfish of me to do so. I mean, I can do it if I want to because I am a casual, but at the same time, the money is good as well. I might take the wednesday off to study for my exam paper on thursday. Yeah I reckon I should just take a day off.
Aside from that, my current emotions towards work is a bit slumpish. Mainly due to the understaff and workload. Like last week on monday was a big hitter. I was meant to do my assignment presentation but at the same time there was this really huge assignment submission that came in. Something like 200+ legal ethics papers which I had to process single-handedly. Was quite awful sometimes to do everything alone by yourself. It really saps and ruins your day.
It's the little things that eats into you throughout the week. But I thank God for the recharge on Sundays :D
I kinda miss being a full-time student. Yeah. I mean, its great to have a job, at times it is somewhat fulfilling that I am independent, nearly absolutely independent from my parents bar my exam fee's. I can survive on my own, although it is tiring at times, especially the mondays where I used to work 9-5, then class from 5:30-8:30, and even the urban life core meetings till 11pm. They used to be a bit mad.
But come towards the end of the semester right now, I feel as if, I'm dreading it a little. The feeling of needing a holiday or a break after a while. Theoretically, I've been working nearly non-stop since January I reckon. I could use a holiday off work. Right now i'm thinking whether I should take next week off to study for my exams. Hmm.
THe unfortunate part is that my workplace is so so severely short-staffed. I feel it is somewhat irresponsible, or rather a bit selfish of me to do so. I mean, I can do it if I want to because I am a casual, but at the same time, the money is good as well. I might take the wednesday off to study for my exam paper on thursday. Yeah I reckon I should just take a day off.
Aside from that, my current emotions towards work is a bit slumpish. Mainly due to the understaff and workload. Like last week on monday was a big hitter. I was meant to do my assignment presentation but at the same time there was this really huge assignment submission that came in. Something like 200+ legal ethics papers which I had to process single-handedly. Was quite awful sometimes to do everything alone by yourself. It really saps and ruins your day.
It's the little things that eats into you throughout the week. But I thank God for the recharge on Sundays :D
The blame Game.
Something more or less happened at work today. Something to do with a student assignment paper that went missing. And the lecturer's been scrambling to find it, we've been scrambling to find it, some swear words were thrown in, some people got scolded as on our tick-sheet we marked that we actually received the paper. But considering it's a huge class of 400+ students, errors do happen.
Then eventually we had to do the last thing, which was to accept defeat, and call the student inquiring whether they have submitted their essay. Which turned out they did not hand it in. It was mistakenly ticked.
Okay, mistakes do happen, I agree. But the part that got me somewhat frustrated, was not the problem itself, but rather the attitude of individuals involved when we were scrambling for solutions.
I'm talking about the blame game.
And even in the end of it, one of them was happily singing to herself "It's not my fault, it's not my fault". Sure it's probably not your fault, but nevertheless, despite circumstances, I feel, that working in a office, being a part of a organization, mistakes are unavoidable, but it is how we work as a team to rectify mistakes in a timely and efficient manner.
Playing the blame game does not help. I personally think its a piss poor attitude to simply point the finger and do nothing to help. It lacks team spirit, it is not a first class mentality, it creates an environment of distrust, disunity, hatred and does not rectify the situation. And the awful thing, is that it not only happeneds on the ground level with people of low education, but all the way to the top.
I remember my dad used to say, in work politics its the same. It's a matter of learning how to dodge bullets and build yourself up by arse-kissing the boss. I think these kind of individuals are only building their career on shakey ground. As eventually they will fall, and its going to reveal all the mess that they have all buried inside. Kinda like the story of the tell-tale-heart. The grave would spring open.
I remember someone famous, a boss said about his worker, that the worker made a $50,000 mistake. But the important question was whether the worker learned a $50,000 lesson. Which the worker actually did actually learn from his mistake, and was a extremely valuable asset to the company from then on, making many times back from the mistake that he did.
Then eventually we had to do the last thing, which was to accept defeat, and call the student inquiring whether they have submitted their essay. Which turned out they did not hand it in. It was mistakenly ticked.
Okay, mistakes do happen, I agree. But the part that got me somewhat frustrated, was not the problem itself, but rather the attitude of individuals involved when we were scrambling for solutions.
I'm talking about the blame game.
And even in the end of it, one of them was happily singing to herself "It's not my fault, it's not my fault". Sure it's probably not your fault, but nevertheless, despite circumstances, I feel, that working in a office, being a part of a organization, mistakes are unavoidable, but it is how we work as a team to rectify mistakes in a timely and efficient manner.
Playing the blame game does not help. I personally think its a piss poor attitude to simply point the finger and do nothing to help. It lacks team spirit, it is not a first class mentality, it creates an environment of distrust, disunity, hatred and does not rectify the situation. And the awful thing, is that it not only happeneds on the ground level with people of low education, but all the way to the top.
I remember my dad used to say, in work politics its the same. It's a matter of learning how to dodge bullets and build yourself up by arse-kissing the boss. I think these kind of individuals are only building their career on shakey ground. As eventually they will fall, and its going to reveal all the mess that they have all buried inside. Kinda like the story of the tell-tale-heart. The grave would spring open.
I remember someone famous, a boss said about his worker, that the worker made a $50,000 mistake. But the important question was whether the worker learned a $50,000 lesson. Which the worker actually did actually learn from his mistake, and was a extremely valuable asset to the company from then on, making many times back from the mistake that he did.
Saturday, October 20, 2007
Another insight on myself?
You know what, I somewhat know this, but never really to what extent either of me I know it.
I think I'm quite hard to know at first instance. I really never knew that. Not many people can actually read me. Well, there are some. But I generally shock people. Hehe.
I'm generally super friendly when I meet new people. I'm open, and general questions like where am I from, what university, where I'm studying, on the surface level it's reasonably easy to know me. But dig any deeper, it's like a sudden wall. I don't know, I think it's probably me or something.
It takes really a long time, before knowing me, and then, bam. I think you'll know too much about me. Hehehe. It's very weird. It's not that I don't trust people or anything. I also don't really understand myself, hence I am unable to analyze it, or make any rectifications to it.
I think it's like my analogy on doors. I guard my doors very well, but once I let you in, there's suddenly a huge area, a vast place of knowing me. I think thats the best way I can describe it.
Either that, people just have a natural apprehension towards me for some reason. hoho, am I that good looking that you are all stunned? Or are you calling me stunningly ugly. Basket
To my friends who know me well, they say I am absolutely humorous, and at times insightful, I hope.. But to those who don't know me very well, i'm like quiet, very prim and proper. Which is like so far from the truth. To my friends who do know me very well, they think i'm a little kid inside this big body.
I think I'm quite hard to know at first instance. I really never knew that. Not many people can actually read me. Well, there are some. But I generally shock people. Hehe.
I'm generally super friendly when I meet new people. I'm open, and general questions like where am I from, what university, where I'm studying, on the surface level it's reasonably easy to know me. But dig any deeper, it's like a sudden wall. I don't know, I think it's probably me or something.
It takes really a long time, before knowing me, and then, bam. I think you'll know too much about me. Hehehe. It's very weird. It's not that I don't trust people or anything. I also don't really understand myself, hence I am unable to analyze it, or make any rectifications to it.
I think it's like my analogy on doors. I guard my doors very well, but once I let you in, there's suddenly a huge area, a vast place of knowing me. I think thats the best way I can describe it.
Either that, people just have a natural apprehension towards me for some reason. hoho, am I that good looking that you are all stunned? Or are you calling me stunningly ugly. Basket
To my friends who know me well, they say I am absolutely humorous, and at times insightful, I hope.. But to those who don't know me very well, i'm like quiet, very prim and proper. Which is like so far from the truth. To my friends who do know me very well, they think i'm a little kid inside this big body.
Monday, October 8, 2007
Growth, and Progress
Yup, I realised I haven't been posting on this blog for a while now.
For some strange reason, I've been occupied with other thoughts not really related to my own general wellbeing. Mostly it's to do with my other Christian based thoughts, but even then, I haven't really been spending the time to journal my thoughts on the other blog either.
I have however, been writing them down in pointers in my little bible note-book. Have to say it's been a real blessing, even just re-reading some of the stuff I've written a couple of months back, I can see the growth throughout this time period.
Something I realise I love about being in Australia, is the move away from the stagnating person I had became. Here, everything is moving, everything is always changing, not only my personality but also in my perspective on life. Which is a good thing I suppose.
Looking Back home in Malaysia, looking at the past, I fell into the trap of arrogance. Most of my thoughts surrounded things that I felt was rather... wrong. The only thing I could take in pride was my improving Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu skills. But aside from that, I felt stagnant in terms of maturity. I had gotten sucked into the blame-game for lifes circumstances, without taking into action the destiny I had in my hands.
I guess the good thing about getting a job here in Australia, would be my self-respect and the knowing, that I am able to survive irregardless of circumstance. At first I thought It could be just Australia (God bless this nation), but Its more than that, and I've come to a realization that no matter what situation, wherever I am, I have the favor of God on my side.
Looking back, had I went anyway different in my past? honestly? Yeah, I think I would have at least lived life more. It's not really the issue of money, but its the issue of pursuing after things that matters.
But the last couple of days pondering it, I realise that there is no point looking back into the past. Even God gave me a wonderful bible verse. Joel 2:25-25. Which talks about God returning the days which the Locusts have eaten. And we shall have plenty and be satisfied and praise him.
I'm glad my time over here has been an absolute positive impact into my life. It's not over, and I hope it doesn't end soon. But even if it does come in March next year, I'm going to go out with a bang, and believe that the paths ahead of me, will only be an uphill one as irregardles of circumstance. The Big guy in the sky is on my side.
I wouldn't say I've reached a certain point in my life that I could look back and say that I am full of things I need to know. But I love it that I am growing. And not staying as I am. The knowledge of Progressing in life is satisfying.
For some strange reason, I've been occupied with other thoughts not really related to my own general wellbeing. Mostly it's to do with my other Christian based thoughts, but even then, I haven't really been spending the time to journal my thoughts on the other blog either.
I have however, been writing them down in pointers in my little bible note-book. Have to say it's been a real blessing, even just re-reading some of the stuff I've written a couple of months back, I can see the growth throughout this time period.
Something I realise I love about being in Australia, is the move away from the stagnating person I had became. Here, everything is moving, everything is always changing, not only my personality but also in my perspective on life. Which is a good thing I suppose.
Looking Back home in Malaysia, looking at the past, I fell into the trap of arrogance. Most of my thoughts surrounded things that I felt was rather... wrong. The only thing I could take in pride was my improving Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu skills. But aside from that, I felt stagnant in terms of maturity. I had gotten sucked into the blame-game for lifes circumstances, without taking into action the destiny I had in my hands.
I guess the good thing about getting a job here in Australia, would be my self-respect and the knowing, that I am able to survive irregardless of circumstance. At first I thought It could be just Australia (God bless this nation), but Its more than that, and I've come to a realization that no matter what situation, wherever I am, I have the favor of God on my side.
Looking back, had I went anyway different in my past? honestly? Yeah, I think I would have at least lived life more. It's not really the issue of money, but its the issue of pursuing after things that matters.
But the last couple of days pondering it, I realise that there is no point looking back into the past. Even God gave me a wonderful bible verse. Joel 2:25-25. Which talks about God returning the days which the Locusts have eaten. And we shall have plenty and be satisfied and praise him.
I'm glad my time over here has been an absolute positive impact into my life. It's not over, and I hope it doesn't end soon. But even if it does come in March next year, I'm going to go out with a bang, and believe that the paths ahead of me, will only be an uphill one as irregardles of circumstance. The Big guy in the sky is on my side.
I wouldn't say I've reached a certain point in my life that I could look back and say that I am full of things I need to know. But I love it that I am growing. And not staying as I am. The knowledge of Progressing in life is satisfying.
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
Monday, October 1, 2007
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